Okay, I'm on vacation. Being at home is supposed to be restful. Let's just say it is not, no, not so much.

Leaving here on the 5th to do the job in North Carolina, I got them to offer more money and some perks. The money still stinks, but Rachel really wants to do it and what else are we gonna do? Financial need deems that some money is better than no money.

Home is kinda rough. It's been a rough year for my family. When I was last home, last Christmas, I woke up New Year's Day on a friend's couch to a phone call from Mom, Grandpa had died that morning. Started things off with a bang.

Speaking of bangs, in February (or March, not sure) my sister and all the various nieces and nephews she had with her in her van were in an amazingly violent accident none of them should've survived. They've been in and out of the hospital to varying degrees all year, but the upside is that my sister should've been killed and was saved by her seat belt - as was her then-unborn daughter.

THEN my uncle Richard, who helped introduce me to my love of sci-fi, and I do mean to phrase it that way, died of cancer which had supposedly been in remission a couple of months later.

THEN my crazy aunt who had lived with my non-deceased grandparents to take care of them discovered she had cancer a few months later. She used to be "haha, what fun" crazy, now she's "what in God's name are you talking about" crazy. She's not easy to be around, and she moved in with my parents. I haven't had a moment alone with my parents, to speak of. I miss them, and I'm here. To top it off, though she's more than financially able, she doesn't contribute anything financially - even to her own keep. I can't explain how that works.

So... that'll be enough to cap a year for anyone, I think. I come home once a year, lately (I aim for more), and though I knew it all happened as it happened I was home for little of it - just my Grandpa, God rest his soul. All of this hits me at once.

I spent the first two days home kinda depressed. Then the laptop made me happy. I'm so frickin' shallow. And poor, now...jesus christ...

Happy birthday yesterday to a friend so close and old I wouldn't hesitate to call him a brother, Dustin Gaines, who now has (count'em) 364 days to Carousel.

Oh, and by the way - for some reason the "Comments" link now reads "Poseurs"... so keep in mind it isn't a value judgement.

There are moments in life which are subtly thrilling during which I hear the quickened theme from the Trench Run is STAR WARS constantly in my head.

Yesterday had a few of them, all basically unimportant.

First, my old friend Dustin and I went to lunch at my favorite restaurant, Willie C's (used to be a chain, now I think there's only one left). When we went in, the snow was gently falling and it wasn't really all that cold. When we exited with our distended abdomens, there were essentially 10 million snowballs falling from the sky at any given moment. Huge wet flakes wreaking havoc over the city, making it difficult to crawl along. The music comes into my head for the first time as we avoid the maze of inexperienced city snow drivers who seem to spin out only immediately in front of us.

Next, we went to the nearby Circuit City and Best Buy to avoid this hoohah. The rigamarole. The bugaboo. All that stuff. Dustin needs a VCR for his Grandma (yes, he's just that kinda guy - the spontaneous eldergifter of legend), I'm thinking about treating myself to a new cellphone to update the old brick on my hip. It actually is a brick, by the way - that's not a metaphor. Anyway, before we leave Circuit City I have a new laptop. I do not make the kind of money to be able to make several hundred dollar impulse purchases. It really wasn't total impulse buying, but near enough. As I have palpitations about spending the money, the music comes in again.

I'm living an adventure.

A terribly dull adventure.

Well, I guess it's been a really long while, hasn't it? How 'bout a wrap up and a catch up?

Well, the tour is over and it was a lot of fun if not perhaps as financially lucrative as it might be. Great houses.

I met some of the greatest people I've ever worked with, my only regret is that I didn't get to know many of them better. Oh, and also that the video they made of our show was done at the beginning of the run. I watched it tonight.

Great people. Brianna, OtherDon, Julie... Ross... Scott... so many. I can't name them all but those are an important few. Those names mean nothing to any of you anyway. Miss 'em already.

Even some of the crap movies we watched on the bus...

We finished our tour in Rapid City SD to sold out 2000+ size crowds ina great house with a wonderful tech crew (complimenting our own.

Then the company party, then a repeat of the drunken hotel karaoke of the previous night. We rule! My "Delilah" made Tom Jones sweat somewhere. Who am I kidding, he's always sweating.

Then Rachel, Ross, and I piled in the waiting car at the drop off in Omaha to drive to Kansas City for Rachel's flight today at 9:30. I drove Ross to Wichita and then came here...
Burns, Kansas. The farm. A little more "farm"y than I remember, but.. it's been a year and things are being remodeled. I drove up to see a broken down beaten up old car in the driveway, next to the other, less beaten old car. I thought my parents had fallen on much harder times and not mentioned it. No, it was my little nephew's. He, who is now 18, I still see as 9, maybe 12. Anyway...

Funniest thing since I've been home, I wish I was making this up. To preface, my mom is nearly deaf in one ear and right now has an ear infection in the other.

ME: Mom, what's wrong with the TV (sound very distant, fuzzy)

MOM: What?

ME: What's wrong with the sound on the TV? (Pointing now to strange sounds coming from Flintstones Christmas Carol)

MOM: Oh, that started to go out a few months ago.

ME: How do you stand it?

MOM: What?

ME: How do you stand it?

MOM: The closed captioning still works, so it doesn't bother me.

ME: How does Dad stand it?

At this point she smiled and walked away.

ALSO ... Got a job offer yesterday, literally as I was stepping off of the tour bus, to do "Annie Get Your Gun" in NC with Gary Sandy (That's Andy Travis from WKRP fro those of you not up on pop culture.)

Trouble is, the offer is for very little money and it starts January 7. That cuts into my home time. Also, I'd have to change my UPTA slot to Monday, and I wanted Sunday for a reason to make hitting the callbacks easier. Don't know what to do. Still dealing with the effects of the Richmond debaucle, paying for a useless apartment in a city we aren't living in anymore and in which there is no viable work to be had. What the hell? I'm hoping the Christmas spirit will hit the Scrooge who stuck me in this situation and it'll go away. Or other things in the works will take hold. Anyone with January work for decent $ is encouraged to contact me NOW.

I hope everyone is somewhere they want to be with people they want to be with tonight, or will be soon. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all the world.

So, any questions?

Don't post quite regularly anymore, do I?

It's tough to find time lately, lots of time on the bus and the rest of the time mostly on stage or in hotel hot tubs. Tough life.

So, today we're in New Haven CT - three days of shows here. Thus far we've hit Interlochen MI, Cedar Falls IA, Parkersburg WV, um... Peoria IL... er... uh... Well, I think that's it so far. I don't even know where we go next right now, and I don't have to. Life is good.

Until I think that I'm not yet sure what I'm doing next. I usually don't let it slide so long, but this year has been, to be very kind, strange. Thus the search only recently began.
Saw Punchdrunk Love, and it made me very happy. Saw the new Bond film, it made me want to go home and watch a better one. It was fine, all except for the absolute worst Bond theme in the history of Bond. Cavemen played better Bond themes on rocks before they discovered Bond. Or themes. Or music.

Madonna, you reek of desperation, and yet what you seem to aspire to isn't worthy of the effort.

Since of course Madonna regularly reads my website, I often post advice to her.

So, any news from the real world?

I have been meaning to post for a week. Yesterday, Saturday, we did our preview performance in Omaha. Monday we'll get on the bus. Our first show is in, I think, Michigan on Tuesday. After that don't ask me. Check the itinerary, my tour is the East Coast leg. For some reason we are the "Sunburn" cast, or as we refer to it the "Tastes like burning" company of Xmas Carol.

Things have continued to go very well. It's a big show, and even our tech rehearsals went, with only one exception, flawlessly. Well organized, well run, and they take care of you. What more can you ask for?

Now to start thinking about January.

It's like relaxing into a pool of fresh, clean, warm water.

Without any exaggeration, I had forgotten what it was really like to work in my chosen profession. Nothing I have done in the past year and a half has been up to par, and after only the first day of working here at NTC my memory is refreshed and I remember what it is I love about my work.

The bitterness has washed away and I am myself again. I had so totally lost touch with myself during my time in Virginia; lost perspective because there is no national reach in that community. Here I am again and back in touch - people here know people I know, have worked with people I worked with. They're professionals. The worst of them is better than most. I have to work to keep up.

Let's not get out of hand - it isn't a cakewalk, it is work. It's actually not all that hard. But man oh man ... How can I make this make sense?

How about this analogy: Let's say for most of my working life, I was eating well. Steak, lobster, and many varied delicacies from all quarters. Then, about a year and a half ago, a little more, I was suddenly confined to eating only Cheerios, no sugar. Nothing but Cheerios. Six months pass, and I'm pretty used to Cheerios. A year goes by, and anything but Cheerios are but a legend to my people... Then, finally, when I find my way out of that cereal debaucle, I taste real food again. Imagine how great it would taste.

That's how I feel right now.

Are my comments even coming up? I don't get to my e-mail or a computer on a daily basis right now. E-mail and let me know if you would, or leave a comment or something if they are. They aren't right now, I know... Don't know if the server is down again or if enetation is totally gone.

Happy.

Today, after a short Hamlet performance, we are off toward Nebraska to start rehearsal. For those of you coming here to find the schedule for that tour, scroll down, it's here. For those of you looking for comment links here, they're acting screwy and have been forever. Anyone know of any other (free) commenting services that are still taking new members? These still work, when they're here, but they aren't dependable.

A long drive today and tomorrow, and two months away from this computer on the road with a persnickety laptop that was cobbled together during the stone age. I won't say how fast it is, except to say that right now most new computers are ten times faster.

My better laptop, that I bought myself for Christmas last year? It died in May. Bah! Lucky I kept this old one. It should suffice for e-mail and etc.

Anyway, wish us luck on our long drive and on yet another production of Christmas Carol. Eventually I will be able to make a resume entirely of Christmas Carol productions.

Back from Delaware. In my absence, the sniper came callin' here in Richmond. Then he ... they... got caught. "Alleged", "suspect", whatever you wish to say 'bout them, they had the gun.

Let's say they weren't the sniper(s), and were just holding her gun for her.

She still has to go get a new gun. That buys us time if nothing else. If we can't feel secure in the knowledge that these men are the snipers, as some sensationalist media drones would like to say, we know that the weapon that was used is off the streets.

The media - It worked against what the task force was trying to do for most of the investigation, but at the end it helped a great deal in getting the information out there. Weeks of sensationalist fearmongering to a night of sincere (?) help to the cause.

Now let us watch them pat themselves on their collective backs.

I am afraid to go outside.

Fifteen minutes, maybe twenty minutes from my apartment a guy was shot last night by some unfeeling indiscriminate coward with a rifle.

I was a little unnerved that this was going on, but this last one brings it both literally and figuratively closer to home.

I could look up this term before I write it, but I won't... "agorophobia" - I think that's it. I think I understand how they feel, afraid to go out of their homes.

How do you deal with this kind of thing? Of course you can throw off the old John-Wayneish "You gotta go when it's your time, pilgrim," but I prefer the much more the old Woody Allen "My doctor told me I'm not supposed to let any bullets enter my body. I've got an allergy."

I don't get how this is happening, I don't understand how it's real. I see people duck and weaving in the parking lot at the video store. I see people hiding in their cars while the gas is pumping. I notice myself unconsiously changing my pace radically as I walk and taking unconventional paths to my car. (That's grown up talk for "running like a scared little girl")

And if something happened to Rachel? I'm afraid for her to go anywhere alone! I notice myself totally without realizing it putting my body between her and "harm's way" as we walk places. It'd be worse for me to have to live through something happening to her than for it to actually happen to me I think. Selfish, or noble, whatever, the definitions change.

We can't let fear run our lives, though. It's trying to. With every tendril of its reach, every call of cthulu, it is trying.

So we're going on the road with the show this week, then back here for a few days, then off to Omaha.

Why in God's name would anyone do this?

What a colossally long week.

All the filming is done, it turned out to be no big deal, but you'll see me in the film.

The company I work for is again pissing all over the people who are working for it. We would quit, but we want our money, and we don't want to have to wait for it throughout any drawn out legal process. So we give them a chance to get us our money in a timely fashion, and if they don't, well...

Let's just say I've never had lawyers be so friendly to me. NO ONE likes the guy who runs this company, I swear that everyone we run into on the road who overhears his name looks to us and exclaims "THAT GUY!"

How is it that I made thie huge mistake? I never trusted the guy, none of us did, now I... well, what's the opposite of trust?

Whats a good word for the opposite fo trust? When you expect someone to do exactly not what they say they will?

That's him. I am cruising on financial fumes right now, the bastard.

That "Iron Jawed Angels" movie called today.

Rachel and I were both, by coincidence, offered roles - still doing the extra work as well, but now we have more work as day players. Rock on.

I'm a 20s era beatnik, Rachel is (surprise surprise) a dancer.

Happy about this I am. Happy Happy.

Anyway, we don't know exactly what we're doing but wish us luck. Woohoo!

I hate Barbra Streisand.

Not a fan.

However, that's just as an icon. As an actress, no problems. As a singer, well, I like her as an actress, fine voice but stylistically indulgent.

Still she misquoted Shakespeare the other night, and I don't care. I actually think the words still have weight, and it is unfortunate that the meaning is blemished by the fact that it was a fake Julius Caesar quote. She didn't know, and I don't care.

Our President is a power-hungry skull-and-bones baby with designs on anything that can profit his friends regardless of the long term damage to our republic. This is not the man anyone (not me) voted for, and if it is, well, civil war doesn't seem so absurd looking 20 and 30 years down the line.

Barbra Streisand and civil war in one post.

So, here I am, home after several days of Hamlet on the road. got a call today, Rachel and I are both going to do some movie extra work, and are up for possible roles as well. Good to hear - Rachel kinda got all that rolling without my even knowing about it, then the call came today as a total surprise to me. Extra work is really nothing, basically being human props at best, cattle at worst. Also, its very dull. However, they're paying well and giving craft services, so that makes for a good day. If the roles pan out, that'll be great. I know so litle about this I don't even know what the movie is. I think it's for HBO, called "Iron Jawed Angels" and about suffragettes. Or something. From my days as an extra-wrangling PA I know that extras don't have to know, or care, they just have to do what they're told.

One day I'll go into depth here about the strangeness of the work situation right now. Suffice to say, it's less than perfect.

Sorry the comments keep going whacko... please post again when I don't reply. I'm not ignoring anyone!

Yet.

As promised, TOUR ITINERARIES. I stole the Christmas Carol schedule from the Caravan website, the HAMLET Schedule is from a hastily thrown together schedule I grabbed a few days ago.
HAMLET (There are some shows of HAMLET not open to the public, I didn't list them here)
9/21 Catawba College, Salisbury NC 7:30pm
9/26 Steward School PAC, Richmond VA 10am
9/27 Douthat State Park, Covington VA 7pm
9/28 Douthat State Park, Covington VA 7pm
10/4 First Landing State Park, (Norfolk VA?), 7pm
10/5 First Landing State Park, ???, 7pm
10/6 Cleveland NC, 4pm
10/9 Rappahanock Community College, ???, 11:30am
10/11 Coolwell Park Ampitheatre, Amherst VA, 7pm
10/12 Mariner's Landing, Smith Mountain Lake VA (???), 7pm

10/21-25 Workshops and performances, Dover DE
Further performances through the tour's end are sold to schools or otherwise not open to the public.


11/19/02 East Coast Tour 7:30 PM Corson Auditorium Interlochen , MI
11/22/02 East Coast Tour 7:30 PM Gallagher-Bluedorn Performing Arts Center Cedar Falls , IA
11/23/02 East Coast Tour 2:00 PM Gallagher-Bluedorn Performing Arts Center Cedar Falls , IA
11/25/02 East Coast Tour 9:30 AM Peoria Civic Center Peoria , IL
East Coast Tour 7:00 PM Peoria Civic Center Peoria , IL
11/26/02 East Coast Tour 9:30 AM Peoria Civic Center Peoria , IL
11/27/02 East Coast Tour 8:00 PM Smoot Theatre Parkersburg , WV
11/29/02 East Coast Tour 7:00 PM Shubert Theatre New Haven , CT
11/30/02 East Coast Tour 2:00 PM Shubert Theatre New Haven , CT
East Coast Tour 7:00 PM Shubert Theatre New Haven , CT
12/1/02 East Coast Tour 2:00 PM Shubert Theatre New Haven , CT
12/2/02 East Coast Tour 10:00AM Proctor's Theatre Schenectady , NY
East Coast Tour 7:00 PM Proctor's Theatre Schenectady , NY
12/4/02 East Coast Tour 3:30 PM Dana Humanities Center-Koonz Theatre Manchester , NH
East Coast Tour 7:30 PM Dana Humanities Center-Koonz Theatre Manchester , NH
12/5/02 East Coast Tour 7:30 PM Chubb Theatre at Capitol Center for the Arts Concord , NH
12/7/02 East Coast Tour 2:00 PM Edward Nash Theatre Somerville , NJ
East Coast Tour 7:00 PM Edward Nash Theatre Somerville , NJ
12/8/02 East Coast Tour 7:00 PM Flynn Center Burlington , VT
12/10/02 East Coast Tour 7:30 PM Garde Arts Center New London , CT
12/11/02 East Coast Tour 8:00 PM Stockton Performing Arts Center Pomona , NJ
12/12/02 East Coast Tour 7:00 PM Pasquerilla Performing Arts Center Johnstown , PA
12/14/02 East Coast Tour 2:00 PM Zeiterion Theatre New Bedford , MA
East Coast Tour 7:00 PM Zeiterion Theatre New Bedford , MA
12/15/02 East Coast Tour 3:00 PM Bardavon Opera House Poughkeepsie , NY
12/18/02 East Coast Tour 7:00 PM Jesse Hall Auditorium Columbia , MO
12/19/02 East Coast Tour 7:30 PM Gary Dickinson Performing Arts Center Chillicothe , MO
12/21/02 East Coast Tour 7:30 PM Rushmore Plaza Civic Center Rapid City , SD
12/22/02 East Coast Tour 2:00 PM Rushmore Plaza Civic Center Rapid City , SD
END TOUR

And that's the rest of my year.

We're back. Good show this weekend. Starting to take off now.
Tomorrow starting rehearsal for a show I'm still rewriting.

Anybody out there?

I get to go to North Carolina, home of... Well, I'm not going to Asheville, which is the only place of many I've gone in NC that was worth getting to. We have a show there tomorrow.
Here's a topic to discuss in my absence:

Which American oil companies will profit most when we clobber Iraq and take control of the world's single largest lake of oil? Just so you know, it's already been promised and divied up.

Bananas in Pajamas are coming down the stairs
Bananas in Pajamas . . . I hope they clean it up.

When you're lucky enough to do something you very much enjoy for a living, it is easy to overlook the bad that comes along with so much good.

Theatre people often run into that. There are dozens of ... shall we say "questionable" employers around these fifty states that still manage bang-up productions and pleasant experiences for most involved.

Right now I and my fellow fortunates are touring HAMLET. Saturday, however, the level of ill will, lack of repsect for and level of poor performance by management, plus an impending financial breach of contract, led to something rather unthinkable to me. We had to walk out. We were willing to compromise our contract in favor of a new very fair one we presented to management, they didn't sign, we walked away from a voluntary free performance. We said we would not perform until the new document was signed, and it had to be signed before midnight the next day when breach would occur. It was signed. It's a really tenuous situation.

Needless to say, I don't have a lot of faith in it lasting the length of the amended contract - we have an agreement within the cast that if one small part of the new document is broken, we all leave with no chance of return. And with the level of tension right now, I have a feeling SOMEONE will leave.

Yes - what happened was we essentially had to unionize in an already unionized profession against management.

How very Newsies of us.

Next week's a big DVD week... anyone feel like sending some downtrodden opressed artists a gift? For the proletariat, man!

Hey everyone - yes, it's true, you can now get my scripts on this site. Check the menu at left. I've been fighting with how to do it since I've (seriously) been asked about fifty times for either MARTIN AND OLIVE or SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS. If you're interested in them, well, if I were rich they'd be free. Since I'm not, throw me some silver and they're yours to read.

Not perform, read.

Seriously though, don't you dare even read them aloud to your pets, Steve. If you do I'll find out and send the copyright police to your door faster than you can say "colostomy bag."

Let peace prevail on the earth.

Thanks to wilwheaton.net.

I have recently found myself put somewhat into the role of cheerleader.

The "buck up" guy.

The "Keep On Truckin'" fella.

I have actually said, more than once, to people, without irony or sarcasm, things like "Stop being so negative - There is no point in continuing without the anticipation of success."

This strange notion of accept acknowledge and move on is kinda stretching around my frame. It'll go away quick if, say, I don't get paid (working for a non-profit theatre company with a history of lack of management has its pitfalls) ...

But I'm feeling the cozy in my new home groove.

Hamlet plays a few free (er... pay what you can, and man I hope people do drop some $$$) performances this week and next. Check www.bardtix.org for more info.

This week I've switched gears, grinding the teeth as I force my transmission into office mode. Working on booking Hamlet, working on Hamlet promos, working on this new cream that buffs my freshly shaven chest to a... anyway I'm working on adminisrtive issues for a bit.

Thing is, I'm just exhausted - all the time. I need more sleep I think, but I get plenty each night. I think the extra high stress level that's been constant for the last MONTH has taken a toll on my youthful physique. Youthful - hah - > two years to carousel.

Right now, if you have $1200 (plus travel exp.) and our dates line up, you can have fresh, piping hot Hamlet delivered to your door!

Sometimes you MUST laugh.

HAMLET is open - we travelled to Geneva, NY, driving all day last Thursday, doing workshops and rehearsals on Friday and part of Saturday, then performed Saturday night.The performance was less than stellar for reasons we could neither have anticipated nor controlled.
See, we were booked as the end of the day's activity for the "move in" day for a sorta-pricey college in upstate NY. Performers from the college were to perform as the players in the "play within the play", and the choir would underscore the end of the show and sing a prologue. All that worked well - good kids, fine stuff, could've used more rehearsal but can't we all...

See, we performed before this huge gothic style building facing an immense quad. We were lavalier mic'd within an inch of our lives, so there'd be no problem hearing anything, BUT... the show was scheduled to start at 6:30. They'd scheduled a campus-wide free barbeque at 5:45. Thus, there were about 1,000 people on the quad when the show started who had no interest in the show whatsoever, and had no interest in letting it go on peacefully. Trucks were coming in to load the barbeque equipment. Actually, it wasn't as bad as that all sounds, but it was bad. The first 1/4 to 1/2 of HAMLET, our first performance, became pretty much about us kinda speeding through and totally eliminating any real audience involvement until the roar quieted.

Once the plebes left, however, it was pretty great. I mean, come on, it is a good play that ends with a series of not one, not two, but THREE swordfights after or during which everyone dies? The improv group we worked with was a talented if a touch ADD addled group of kids, while the choir was simply spot on. We weren't entirely in total sync at the end for what we'd all had in mind, but it didn't affect anything even one little bit.

So, while it still feels like a victory, it is a hard won victory at best, with casualties.

Lessons learned.

Actors... check out either
www.cafepress.com/saytheline
or
www.cafepress.com/hamlet2002

At least the front page of the Encore! Theatre Company website is updated with Hamlet stuff.

www.bardtix.org

Things finally calm down as of next week. Hamlet goes on the road tomorrow, and we'll be back Sunday night. Wish us luck, 'cause by heaven we're gonna need it.

It's coming together, and I'll put down my thoughts on this more later, but it is a revelation unto itself every time we do it.

That make any sense?

No?

Then go see "Swimfan."

If it does, come back later.

Here's the monkey, Chino.

I'm going to make that phrase catch on. I have spirited many an obscure combination of words into public note. I claim responsibility for the birthing of the phrase "Captain Obvious" in the early 1990s. We should each trademark any new terms we coin, and then we'll discover if someone else got to them first, and if not we should get a quarter every time anyone uses them anywhere. I intend to assign fiscal value to conversational speech!

I'm really f-in' tired. Not fucking tired, just f-in' tired.

Hamlet twice today. I'm raw as a ... thing... that hasn't been cooked.

Sorry Will, your descriptive verbosity has drained me of my own.

Your loves, as mine to you, HAMLET

I'm sorry.

Is anybody still reading this?

I've been away for a while, going mad. We had to open a show on the road with little or no support from the producing company ... which I am the associate artistic director of... so that was tough. People were having breakdowns in rehearsal and stuff because we weren't ready. But we did it. And we'll do it again tonight - Sleepy Hollow, at the Commonwealth Performance Festival.And since Monday we've gone back into Hamlet rehearsals and we're now just trying to pretend we're accomplishing something with them. We all fell a little rudderless, and the main reason I haven't posted to this blog is that I've spent every waking moment with Hamlet either going into my eyes and ear, flying from my lungs, or perhaps entering my mind through osmosis as I fall asleep studying.

So I'm sorry, gentle readers. I will be a more faithful vassal to you. And the funny will return.

"Is it not monstrous that this player here,
But in a fiction, in a dream of passion,
Could force his soul so to his own conceit
That from her working all his visage wann'd,
Tears in his eyes, Distraction in's aspect,
A broken voice, and his whole function suiting with
forms to his conceit? And all for nothing!"

OOOOO Fooortuna....

I keep saying I'll get back on the stick here with the whole blogginess. I will, but right now I can barely breathe for all the stress I have. Our "artistic director" chose this as the best time to take a vacation. What a.... heh... no, no, no...

Learning one show, which opens at the Commonwealth Performance Festival on Thursday. Also having to do everything else for that show.

Also trying to get off book for Hamlet before the 19th, when reheasals pick back up.

So, send me love, send me good thoughts, send me weapons which are untraceable.

Okay, kids, it's serious time.

As Hamlet says, "If you love me, hold not off..."

So... GO SIGN THIS. Sign this and make all your friends sign it. Put the link on your sites. Let's get this out there and do something real about this.

SAVE GREG THE BUNNY

Also Check out:

How to save Greg the Bunny and your other favorite shows: Some homework.

I know, I could be saving the whales, I could be campaigning for starviing children with osteoporosis, I could worry about all the kids in Latin America with no mp3 players. I've chosen my cause, now fight! The people will fight! And so they might, dogs will bark, fleas will bite...etc.

I got a quiz from a friend today, and failed miserably. It was one of those quizzes you can make yourself about whatever you want, though all those I've gotten are about the people who sent them. I always ignored them... until yesterday. I failed so badly, I made one of my own so I can make other people feel that bad. I made mine harder, I think, than YOURS, Waldron. I still failed.

Thus far, one of my friends has scored 1 of 10, another got three, another 5, and another not so amazingly 9. In the future, I think people will use this test to cull people from their lives.

"I'm sorry, Henry, but your lack of diligence in studying for the test about me has convinced me you are no longer worth my time."

WE'RE BACK ONLINE.... The festival is over and the phone is in at the new place, Grant is on vacation and the company needs to book shows! Anybody want to see a Hamlet? It'll be good, I promise!

Today is about meeting with a printer to discuss brochure options and learning a show. I just wanted to post right now because I CAN.

See Signs.

The funny returns in TWO DAYS.

Wow, I was down that day - the last entry. Suffice to say that since we last left our hero things have improved somewhat. Still, more things pop up. I had a great birthday party with a ... get this... Christopher Walken theme thrown by the lovely and talented Miss Rachel. That was Friday.

Saturday was spent moving mostly, though there's much left to move. The theatre company also decided we need to be out tomorrow entirely, out of the clear blue sky, they told us yesterday. So until next week when the phone is put in at the new place the blog may be spotty. The festival closed Saturday as well - thank god.

Sunday was... Ah yes, Sunday was a "day of rest," supposedly, though it really wasn't and we spent most of it cleaning, setting up, and etc. between place A and place B.

Monday was spent mostly striking, mostly by myself, mostly in the 101 degrees plus Southern humidity plus heat index and etc. - then Hamlet rehearsal started at 7pm (evening rehearsal, for some reason) and we read through. Nothing to report there, except we were noted on the read thru. I thought that was odd.

Today I am still striking, and still moving like a madperson. Sorry no funny linkys on the last one, I'm in a bit of a state. I promise the funny will return within the week.

It's now my birthday, though it didn't seem like it because I worked all day. I'll add the funny to this later, I don't have the energy right now to make the links. Y'all come back now, y'hear? Y'do? Y'wanker.
Thus I have decided come hell or high water tomorrow I will NOT work all day, only half a day, and then enjoy myself.
The lovely Rachel seems to have planned a birthday party for me tomorrow night anyway. She's great. Of course.
Tomorrow will probably seem more like a "birthday" than today did - today was f-ing depressing and made me want to quit my job. I've had that feeling too much lately. I've had times when I've contemplated quitting for hours - and then something makes it better. Today, though, I just kept thinking it. I work on things, income generating things, and have a number of irons in the fire. I get no affirmation. In fact, credit seems to be taken elswhere. For instance, I came up with an idea that saved all the revenue from the last week of the run of one of our shows by switching venues and creating a "special performance"- and apparently that's been overlooked. I don't need lauding and pats on the back, so much, just consideration of the work I do. I fixed and update our website, and what do I get - "That's fine, but..." and then pointed derision. Maybe it comes from this summer being the longest time I've spent offstage (not counting that night in Love's Labour's Lost) in ... many, many years. I probably won't quit as long as things improve a little bit in the office.

Vent, vent, vent. Listen to me, I'm a whiny bastard - like I said before. I'm also working on HAMLET. That isn't cheery, really.

Tomorrow I'm 28. Exactly two years left until Carousel. I hope I renew, but they say no one ever has...

Sanctuary!

So slowly but surely we are moving to the new apartment. It kinda smells of the cigarettes of the last person who lived there, not terribly, but we'll soon take care of that. Any suggestions? Other than scented candles, inscense, and carpet deodorizer? It's not bad.

Working on Hamlet - finally got the cut script.

Did I mention tomorrow is my birthday, ever?

"But I was going into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters..."

You ever just spend a goodly part of a day feeling like a whiny bastard? That's what blogs are often all about, right?
Well, I shall spare you the gory details. Here's how today wound up:

1) WE NOW HAVE AN APARTMENT!
2) My birthday is Thursday. That's not new.
3) I spent a lot of money on furniture, also I bought a digital camera for myself for my birthday.
3a) I'm so stressed about money, but being poor is what art is about, right? Right? Hey! Right?
4) My car IS running, it was just out of gas, Grant. Heh... That's funny NOW, but wasn't THEN.
5) Held auditions today to fill out the HAMLET cast. Found our Laertes quite early - A friend I had no idea was that good! Gertrude may wind up being a compromise. One guy we auditioned was SO very good, and yet unavailable. Will be contacting him about the future. Needs maybe to lose some weight, though.
6) Received a WONDERFUL CD in the mail today, and you all must check it out if you like all the music the kids play. The good stuff, not the kind with any initials in the group names. The Endless debut album, "Grumpy Ghost."
7) ALSO got another CD, unexpectedly... Star Wars the Musical. Possibly the single funniest thing I've ever heard, played totally straight. Great.
8) July 25 is my birthday.

"Do you speak Bacchi? Not Splatchy, not Blotchy, but Bacchi? What I need is a droid who can understand Bacchi, but what I need most is someone who understands me." - STAR WARS, THE MUSICAL

Never, EVER discuss life decisions and changes after you've had ANY drinks.

Tired. Went to some "theatre" last night in a semi-official capacity. It was perhaps the most stereotypical production of bad Shakespeare I have ever seen. It was obviously directed by an academic. Wow, was it bad. I've seen "As You Like It," and liked it. I've been in a good production. Okay, it isn't a rip-roaring laugh a minute, but it is most definitely at least a good piece. What I saw last night was the definition of dry, vomitless Shakespeare.

I guess its another case of it being good to see someone else's headshot. I should explain that... Based on the new job, we've been looking at tons of submitted resumes and headshots, and though lately I've been itching to get new headshots done (I really do hate my headshot), many times I've opened the manila envelopes, pulled out the photo/resume, and realized what is GOOD about my headshot. I turned to Grant and said, "Sometimes it's nice to see someone else's headshot, just so yours seems less awful."

This is from WILWHEATON.NET, and I have to say after my own reading of the new "homeland security plan" with its "volunteer informant" corps (Did they even THINK about 1984 before writing this?) ... Check out Wil's entry, which refers to Tom Tomorrow's entry...

When I heard about the US Government's TIPS program this morning, I nearly choked on my breakfast. I've been struggling with my outrage and astonishment at this program all day, trying to compose myself long enough to write about it, but my friend Tom Tomorrow has managed to put into words exactly what I am feeling, far more eloquently than I ever could, so I'll freely steal it from him:


"Facism is a term thrown about too freely, and I don't believe we're at a point that its use is justified--but an oppressive and intrusive government, however you want to label it, does not ride into town wearing the uniforms and waving the flags of recognizable evil. It creeps in slowly, wrapped in the flag of your own country, and speaking the language of patriotism and duty, and at each step along the way, its actions seem plausible and defensible--until one morning you wake up and realize the gulf between the way things were and the way things are has grown so wide that there is no going back. Sinclair Lewis tried to point this out more than a half century ago, and given the current climate, It Can't Happen Here is well worth re-reading (or reading for the first time, if you've never come across it before)."

Twice in the past week I have been approached by men totally unseen by me until trapped in my car, with the door not quite shut. First they say they aren't dangerous, then they ask for money for one reason or another. I'm sure the first guy was just a sad case, a poor homeless guy who needed change (that's all he wanted, fifty cents) but the fact that it happened again - though the dude used a different line this time ("out of gas") - makes me think it's the new racket. I heard a friend of a friend talking about having been mugged with this tact a few weeks ago, so maybe I'm on my guard. Anyway, I've never been mugged or anything like that, thus I'm perhaps less on guard than I thought I should be.

It bothers me that someone can approach me like that without my notice until (what would be) too late. And here I thought I was an international assassin waiting to happen.

http://www.gregthebunny.org

I almost forgot. Who are we if we let this go the way of The Tick, Family Guy, and ... Automan (?) while "Bachelorettes" and the like continue not to have their participants euthanized?

Our high energy, five-person production of LOVES LABOURS LOST was quite different tonight... One of the actors, who plays Ferdinand, Armado, and Dumain... was violently, convulsively, explosively ill and couldn't do it. I had to go on for him, with absolutely no preparation. I lived the actor's nightmare tonight, short of being naked.

The costume didn't fit.
I didn't know the words.
I danced in numbers I'd only watched a few times, weeks ago.
I played several characters and made a lot of stuff up.
And...

The audience was with us the whole way.

Now, I need ice cream. And beer. And Red Fusion. I like Red Fusion, and maybe if I link it again Dr. Pepper will notice somehow and I'll get a free case or seven. Red Fusion.

It was kinda rainy, but that only helped get the crowd rooting for us. This is why we do it. It only could've felt better if I'd been singing it.

Not that I want to do it again, like that. Ever.

I'm going out of my mind.

I woke up this morning quite nicely, then not thirty seconds after consciousness came like a hammer to the skull my imminent-lack-of-dwelling feeling.
Oh, how I need the vacation I only recently realized I haven't had in a very, very long time. Also, there's the need for cash.

We were supposed to go out for drinks (with Grant and Beth) after the shows tonight but things came up - so I'm just going to sit in view of some DVDs all evening. Quietly. Alone. Content.

Today was the day I had nightmares about when I accepted this job. I will not make a habit of "this was my day," unprofound, no bad poetry (this is a blog, you know!) entries, but today was jist extry-special.
See, to sound quite the braggart, this is my first non-acting job in a very long time, though it will entail acting soon. It's just that being Production Manager is a position which stretches some of my qualifications to their theoretical limits. Some parts of the job I am very qualified for. Some I am not. I'm fine with that, because I think my strengths more than make up for my shortcomings. Soon my title will change, as I mentioned earlier, and perhaps I'll feel more comfortable though little will really change. I had a long day, but I kept laughing, so that was fine. It was the first day when both of our "big" shows played at the same time. Also, it was "Take your girlfriend to work" day.

It started out with Rachel and I doing a little apartment stuff, then we went to one of the venues to move all stuff from that show to our other venue so. Once that was done, I got a tense phone message from our construction place that our remaining platforms and lumber had to go ...anywhere else. "Now." I called Grant (the artistic director) because his Isuzu Trooper is much more trucklike that my Sunbird. We loaded up,found a place, stowed it, then went into the office for supposedly five minutes before we were all going to lunch. At the office, things to do found us for about an hour, leaving Rachel wandering around our offices bored silly. Then lunch, which Grant treated at an Irish pub, and a break. I get to the main venue at about 6:15 to find that the lights, for no apparent reason, aren't working. At about 6:45 we discover, of course we'd forgotten things that morning for the other venue (we hadn't finalized the list yet), which necessitated mad dashes across town and back. While I'm taking stuff to the other venue, five problems arise there, and once I return to the first venue they've rigged halogen lights to light the show - no one could figure out the problem.

There you have it.

(silent scream)

Work is a nice challenge, and whenever I have downtime I try to work on Hamlet. It's interesting to be in the position where you have control over all the things you used to hear bitched about (or bitched about yourself), and trying to make them better for the people under you. However, in many cases things you thought you knew aren't true - and you realize why things were that way in the first place.

Welcome to Don Winsor's "HEY! It's What We've Got." School of Theatre.


Now, please allow me to express the extent of my horror at how frustrating it is to find an affordable apartment in Richmond, VA, home of the old money and what I imagine must be some of the original good ol' boy conspiracies in the country.

Perhaps that's overstating it a bit. I'm just flustered, that's all.

They had a two-week mandatory wait with deposit up front. Being that in two weeks time we'd be really stuck if it didn't go through, we decided not to deal with it. Damn.

Going to have The Meeting about another place... wish me luck.

Okay, comments are NOT working yet.

Update - Yes, they obviously are.

Second Night, Second Entry. Had to go note our new one man show tonight, had to be the third party to a number of... disagreements involving world-shattering issues like whether the intellibeams are really necessary at one point or should be cut. These are the things people in theatre really argue about. Should the pointy light go here or not.

My contribution was, can we afford to replace an intellibeam lamp (bulb) being that we've already blown one? Heads turned toward me, I stood tall, puffed out my chest, and absorbed their evil thought beams.

Still looking for a place to live. A few leads, some I can't really afford. When I brought home one application tonight, Rachel got depressed and admitted she was going to buy me a puppy for my birthday when we were in the new place and now it doesn't look like we'll get a place that takes pets.

How depressing. I bought the Kids In The Hall "Same Guys New Dresses" DVD today... I recommend it. I haven't watched it, who'm I kidding? When do I have any time?

Comments should work now.

Okay, my first night, and my first real entry. Tonight the apartment Rachel and I were supposed to move into August 1 fell through. We are homeless in a few weeks at this point. This is not a feeling I enjoy

And I don't have time to look for a place! I'm learning Hamlet, and Sleepy Hollow... not to mention the fact that I've got all the miscellaneous nonsense to deal with the summer festival until it closes, three days or so before I have to move!

scarybari@aol.com

Just checking to make sure I know how this works.

Welcome to my weblog. Who knows how often I'll update it? A guess costs $1. Every correct guess, after one year's time, gets a cookie.

Please allow me to introduce my-elf. I'm Don. I'm an actor. I'm currently starting my first job as a part of actually running a theatre company, in Richmond, VA. We love the South, don't we? I'm Production Manager of the Encore! Theatre Company, which produces as its main product The Richmond Shakespeare Festival and accompanying tours. If you look, I'm not on their website yet. We work and struggle to make sure we can get paid and produce things we're proud of. This year, I tour as Hamlet. I also become Associate Artistic Director. I almost feel settled, and that's frightening - I've been a castabout pseudobohemian (TM) for years. This isn't where I was headed, but I think it's right. I am part of a creation machine.

Damn, that's pretentious.

Before, I'd move every 3-6 months from gig to gig. If I stayed in one place THAT long. Now, I've in one place for (heave) over a year and a half, thanks to two companies good enough to meet my needs... Wait, how long? Sorry, I have to go deal with a digestive issue.