CAPTAIN HOOK: HYPOCRITE? Today I saw one of my personal heroes, Captain Hook, signing autographs and generally being a happy guy with crowds of children. I was hurt, disillusioned, and quite angry. Why wasn't he using hook? Why didn't he toss them off the... well, there were no "planks" or "yardarms" per se, but... he certainly could have just kicked them. Why, Captain? Why?