The Worst Things in Life Are Also Free (now with Vikings)

I was writing this in an e-mail to my brother-in-law and I thought it sounded like a blog entry, so...

Man oh man, in my... increasing lack-of-youth... I realize the worst situations, the things you lament most, are often not the things that happen to you but the problems you yourself create. Especially when they affect other people, people that you care about.

Sometimes it seems it would be easier to be a heartless, insensitive bastard (I can HEAR what some of you are thinking upon reading that. Fair play.)

Vikings never dealt with our kinds of angst, did they? Did you ever hear the story of Flarg, the depressed viking? No, you haven't. Doesn't exist. didn't wallow in their own inner turmoil. If we've learned anything from Kirk Douglas, comic books and authors like Robert Howard, it's that when such men felt low, they didn't sit around, they grabbed an axe and hoped to restore their honor through death in battle.

You know, I can see the appeal of that idea. People sitting around the... Viking ...bar, later:

KLAARM: "Hey, did you hear about Flarg?"

SVEN: "No, man, but I hate that f%&$#@! Did you hear about him and ...Flargetta?" (Okay, so I have no imagination for Viking women's names)

FLARGETTA: "I wish he were dead! That bastard!"

KLAARM: "He is! Took 20 arrows to take him down, and before he went he took down like ten dwarves. It was crazy. A good death. Honorable."

SVEN: "Wow. Dude. That's pretty cool."

FLARGETTA: "Man. 20 arrows? That's... He may've done... but... you know, go Flarg, I guess. I know he always.. meant well."

SVEN: "Yeah. Here's to Flarg. We shall sing songs of his deeds. May he ever be remembered as Flarg Tendwarves, and his misdeeds recounted as flaws of a tragic hero."

RANDALL: "Should that be dwarves or dwarfs?"

So, I've thought over the past... nonspecific while... how can I restore MY honor? The answer seems to be a lot less epic than charging headfirst into a rampaging tribe of invaders, these days. Just be a man. Be the person you'd like to be. Don't try. Just do it. All that "trying" just gets you into trouble.

You may've noticed I've changed the blog structure a bit - the main page will only have one entry at a time, and you've witnessed the return of the embedded links which might give some cryptic insight... and sometimes not. There might be more of a site resdesign on the way.

Ctrl+Alt+Delete

UPDATED 5/24 9am: I just realized I haven't mentioned this here, yet. Due to a combination of personal/family things that came up, I've had to (amicably) bow out of the work plans I had as of late April. Working now on Plan B. Or C.

UPDATED 5/22 5:30pm: Everything still works, nothing's gone. Contemplating a site revamp.

Maybe.

Questionable Marketing

Click here for the funny. It's a recut trailer for "The Shining" cut to market the film as a romantic comedy.

My Dad

Tuesday, I had a late lunch with my Dad at a bar/restaurant called "True Lies" in El Dorado, KS. It's a little dive dance place, a country western dance bar at night and a home-cooking place during the day. Why am I in Kansas right now, you may be asking, and that's a whole other story, but... today I had lunch out with my Dad. We shared some beers and some chicken-fried steak. We sat, we talked about problems and people, troubles and health, nothing special. Had a few laughs. I had a Boulevard Wheat, Dad had a Miller. Nothing we ate was good for us. I couldn't tell you when the last time I did something like that with either or both of my parents; it's probably been two or three times in a few years. Needs to happen more.

I got the impression that the character of the place probably changed drastically after say, 10pm... The dance floor was empty when we were there, but the place looked like it'd seen it's share of low-rent country bands and probably some dust-ups, as well. On the main door was printed "It is the policy of True Lies, should you become involved in an altercation or fight, you will be removed from the establishment. You shall not and will not be allowed to return."

So we decided not to, you know, "throw down" with anyone.

I just need to point out that I feel very lucky to have the parents I have. They've allowed me to make my own mistakes (damn them!) and are always there for me when I do. There's very rarely an "I told you so," and I've always been encouraged to follow my foolhardy dreams of world domination and such. So, here between Mother's Day and Father's Day, I want to point out that I really love my parents and I appreciate everything they've ever done for me. Now, about that loan... ;)

I'm a scruffy-looking Nerf herder.

The sky could be falling and the rivers run red with blood, apocalypso music playing on hellish steel drums in the distance. There could be untreatable boils covering my entire face in a pattern suspiciously like a swastika. I could accidentally eat a handful of broken glass and be forced to watch URBAN COWBOY "live on stage." I could be in a shipwreck, trapped on a liferaft in the Bering Strait with three morbidly obese, honeymooning nudist couples who insisted on reading aloud Paris Hilton's entire autobiography. I could get notice of an audit, be forced to watch a "Big Brother" marathon with special guests The Olsen Twins, and my doctor could tell me that, unlikely as it seems, some way or another, he's going have to find a way to give ME a pap smear.

All these things could be true, but a vague grin would still cross my face when I hear that they're finally releasing the original , unaltered versions of Star Wars on DVD in September. True, two or three years ago or more it would've been much bigger news, now it's just a quick "oh, cool" and off I go to the quarry to... make... gravel, or whatever it is I do.

Things might suck... but hey, Han shot first.

"...it's thoughts like this that catch my troubled head when you're away."

I haven't had much to say, lately, in fact I'm only posting now because someone pointed out "I looked at your blog, I don't think you've ever gone this long without posting."
There've been reasons for that. Suffice to say, some good energy and prayers and... whatever it is you do, pointed in this general direction, would be appreciated. There's a lot going on, has been for a while.

UPDATED: The thing I added to my blog about a month ago that allows me to see where it's being viewed from has been a great source of interest for me. Some crazy places have been logged, like once in Tehran (I'm guessing someone has placed a price on my head, and someone over there is checking on their next target?)... but also some interesting domestic check-ins. It's a cool little feature - it's on the lower portion of the sidebar there, and I think you can click through as I can.