The sky could be falling and the rivers run red with blood, apocalypso music playing on hellish steel drums in the distance. There could be untreatable boils covering my entire face in a pattern suspiciously like a swastika. I could accidentally eat a handful of broken glass and be forced to watch URBAN COWBOY "live on stage." I could be in a shipwreck, trapped on a liferaft in the Bering Strait with three morbidly obese, honeymooning nudist couples who insisted on reading aloud Paris Hilton's entire autobiography. I could get notice of an audit, be forced to watch a "Big Brother" marathon with special guests The Olsen Twins, and my doctor could tell me that, unlikely as it seems, some way or another, he's going have to find a way to give ME a pap smear.
All these things could be true, but a vague grin would still cross my face when I hear that they're finally releasing the original , unaltered versions of Star Wars on DVD in September. True, two or three years ago or more it would've been much bigger news, now it's just a quick "oh, cool" and off I go to the quarry to... make... gravel, or whatever it is I do.
Things might suck... but hey, Han shot first.
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