Great Muppety Odin!

Today, again weary of the ship's vast array of restaurants and dining opportunities, I had lunch in Puerto V at this wonderful authentic native place called "Chili's" because it was next to the Starbuck's I checked my email at.

Mexican Chili's kicks US Chili's ass, hands down.

With seemingly every entree they serve one of those corn-on-the-cob-on-a-stick things, and they are SO DAMNED GOOD.

I discovered that it is difficult, one must be very careful, in order to maintain one's dignity while eating corn on the cob while sporting a beard.

Corn on the cob: 1, Beardy: 0.

Touche, corncob.

Just watched THERE WILL BE BLOOD... friggin' AMAZING performance by Daniel Day Lewis.

I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE! I DRINK IT UP!

What's goin' on

Happy Easter... belated by the time I reach Puerto Vallarta (translation: "Pudding Door") and post this. Here onboard, I had a sumptuous, extravagant Easter dinner of orange spice herb tea and honey. Later I will celebrate with red wine, because that's what I was convinced to give up for Lent this year. In the past, I have tended to give up "giving up things for Lent," but this year I thought I was convinced to give it a shot. Shortly after I made this agreement, I realized I had just opened a nice bottle of red and had one glass from it. That bottle has been sitting here on my desk, staring at me, pleading with me, as it surely turns too vinegar.

I haven't written anything of any substance or length here in a while. Why? No reason. It's not like I don't spend huge amounts of time online at various Mexican beachfront wifi hotspots... whole port days on Skype, etcetera. You could argue that while I have written at length here before I have never actually written anything of actual substance, and to that I'd argue "shut up."

I have written down a number of things that would merit blogitude... just never took the time to actually type anything about them. So now, as I sit here on my bed staring out my window while watching a strange little film called "Rocket Science," I will blog a bit...

On my notepad, my topic ideas from different moments of lost inspiration read as follows:

"blog:

Photos

100 days

Rocky Horror party

changes in life

rock band

andy's iphones

foreigners who cannot get in line"

Now, I think I recently posted some photos. In case I did not, here's a photo or two.

That's from the "Desert Rose steakhouse" onboard. Friday night. Leslie (singer, standing... er, leaning) had her mom, aunt, and grandmother on for a week. Notice that glass of red wine in front of me? It wasn't until hours later that I realized that I had inadvertently broken my Lenten wino fast when I was asked to split a bottle of Chianti Classico. I'm not that concerned, I'm certain that indiscretion is low on the list of things I've done which I may go to hell for. I think my facial hair might actually be higher on the list. Pictured there are (l to r) me, Emma Randall, and Leslie Turner, singers; Gemma Beet, Angela Feehan, and Josie Torrisi, dancers. Missing is Emma's boyfriend Mark who was supposed to be the other guy on this night out, but was called away after we were seated for a production emergency.

That, according to someone, is "art." I can't define art, but I can certainly point to things that I know would cause nightmares should they be placed in my home. There. Photos fulfilled. Next...

- As I write this, I am just past 100 days onboard. That day passed without incident. I was not asked to make a speech commemorating the landmark. There was no plaque, no certificate, I didn't even smoke a cigar. I had a glass of Scotch, last night, but that had nothing to do with the 100 days. On the actual day... what'd I do... I had breakfast at Senor Sweet's in Cabo San Lucas with the former bassist from Loverboy. Then I Skyped, as is my usual on port days lately.

-The Rocky Horror Party was setup with a lot of work by a couple of the dancers with minor help from me. It had been approved and scheduled for some time, rescheduled twice so more people could come, and I have no photos of it because it never happened. It was cancelled the day before it was to finally happen because someone in senior management finally actually saw the THIRTY YEAR OLD FILM and decided it was inappropriate and should not be a crew (or wardroom) party theme, and got the captain to agree and call it off. If you've never worked on a ship, you'll know that compared to a lot of party ideas ("pimps and hos," anyone?) ROCKY HORROR is a touch of class. No blog there because... it never happened. Not a lot has, lately.

-Changes in life... what did I mean by that? No idea.

-Rock Band - didn't I already blog on that? It's only the best. thing. ever. We haven't played it in far too long... I think, as a group, we were honestly waiting for... some person(s) we didn't actually want to disinvite to leave to ship. Now that they're gone, I'm sure my cabin will be hopping late into the night again soon.

-Iphones... I know I already blogged about how much I love my new unlocked iphone. It does EVerything. Before the show I was just tuning my guitar using the guitar tuner I have on it. Everything. Oh yeah, I'm teaching myself the guitar. Finally. Not like I don't have the time... Man o man, is there time to kill out here. It's a sweet gig, there's nothing BUT time... hence this windy entry.

- Interesting bit of xenotrivia... the inability of what seems to be anyone who isn't either from the US, Britain, or Canada to understand the concept of a queue. A line. The crowd waiting to get a drink at the crew bar often resembles video of an aid truck trying to disperse sacks of grain in Sudan. It's as though every time these people get in line for anything they are actually waiting to fight to get desperately needed medical supplies and there aren't enough to go around.

-Unrelated to anything I thought of posting before and added now as I sit ready to post this in a Mexican Starbucks... I am now in the minor leagues of the big boy poker tournament that is the stock market. In fact, right now as we speak I am enjoying the roller coaster ride of the volatile market, watching the (relatively) small amount of money I've got spread around going up... and going down. I could get into this.

I feel very out of touch, I have not been a good correspondent with some of you... feel free to flog me verbally and write again, I promise I'm not purposefully ignoring any of you. What I could really use are some book/movie recommendations. Okay... almost showtime... gotta run to put my dance belt and jockeys back on for this number:

I leave you with... the Incredible Hulk.

-

they've given you a number, they've taken away your name

Today is one of those days when I feel like a CIA agent.

I wandered through the back streets here in Mazatlan, broken down and destitute mostly, third world. I was finding my way by the landmark of these church spires I couldn't always see. Sitting outside here at this cafe on the edge of a park near the church, I half expect my "contact" to sit next to me and slip me the microfilm under a newspaper...

I guess you'd have to see this area to know what I mean, but if I ever make a spy movie, this is a location.

Ode to a Sea Day

Oh Sea Day, you are boring
There is nothing left to do
I've read everything on this ship
Watched every "Law and Order," too.

I've played my games, I've written songs
I've laundered every sock
I've come to the conclusion
That sea days can suck ...a lot.

You wander 'round the ship to find
Americans are fat
You tried to defend your countrymen,
But Jesus, LOOK at that.

You can't get past them though they're slow
They fill the promenade
These Lovecraftian behemoths
Gasping Cthulian Elder Gods

Now we're here upon spring break
When college twits roam free
They drink and puke and scream and shout
They don't care where they pee

They all paid to be here
With us it's quite reversed
So in the grander scheme of things
They've got it so much worse

Very soon we'll get to port
And run away and hide
In some unknown place where passengers
Would never go inside

It's not so bad, it's even fun
But with all your recreation
There comes a time when we deserve
Vacation from your vacation

...written as I sit here, in Long Beach outside a coffee bar

Mexico

...and I'm still going back and forth between Puerto Vallarta, Mazatlan, Cabo, and LA every week.

Yeah.

Whee.

The extent of most conversations I am around has to do with "how much did I drink last night"

Send help.

UPDATED: I was told this entry sounded "really sad but true" by someone who knows. It isn't sad, I'm not melancholy, not at all, it's just really not a stimulating environment out here right now, just very stagnant. That's not a negative statement, just an accurate observation. All is well in Donland, I'm just having to work harder to find things to pass the time... without sinking into the mire.

I love my iphone, by the way. Buy one, have it unlocked, you will not regret.

Gadgetrous Pompousity

It took a while, and I held out with all the power I had, but as I was continually convinced of what amazing lifesavers they can be and just how damned cool they are by everyone one this damnable ship who has one, increasing by about 20 a week, I finally broke down and got an iphone.

It is the best and greatest thing since God created astronaut ice cream.

Especially if you have a friend who, as a hobby, unlocks them. Just sayin'.

I haven't been writing much lately because not a whole lot has gone on in the last week or so that's blogworthy.

I finally saw I AM LEGEND and was interested that I didn't think it was a bad movie though it has essentially less in common with the book that it's based on than West Side Story has with Romeo and Juliet. The ending of the book - one of my favorite endings of any book, stylistically - is TOTALLY muted and TOTALLY ruined with this Hollywood B.S.

Read the book. Read everything by Richard Matheson. He wrote everything from SOMEWHERE IN TIME to NIGHTMARE AT 20000 FEET to DUEL to WHAT DREAMS MAY COME to I AM LEGEND to... well, look into it.