...all I do is keep the beat and bad company

So this is Christmas, and what have you done?

I am sitting here in the crew mess using my laptop because I am stuck on the ship waiting for a safety meeting for my muster station. Bah. Anyway, St. Barth is a fairly generic place - a pricey Caribbean island with sand and water and expensive shopping. I bought some Cuban cigars for the humidor my good friend Luis gave me, and some Christmas cards that I'll give people I see every damned day anyway. Maybe.

I decided to do some of my own laundry today, since I'm here and have some TFD (time for Don)... I just returned from lunch to find that some jerk had taken all of my wet clothes out of the washer and placed them on a nappy ironing board rather than into a dryer, which would have been available at the time my clothes finished. I hate this person and I will find them out. When I do, I will subscribe them to the Dirty Sock of the Week Club, which delivers horrid, fetid, reeking sweaty, discolored socks to people with or without their consent, on a convenient weekly basis. I will develop the technology to travel into the future, and I will get their children to marry people they would not approve of. This is how we advance our technology, through bitterness and revenge.

You have no idea, laundry man, of the subtle revenges I am capable of. Is that drink you got just a little weak? That was me. Did you wake up feeling a little sluggish? That was me. You just sneezed three times? Well, only two of those were mine. You must have other enemies.

Okay. Off to my meeting.

Things are good. Some things very, some things not so, but on the whole they balance to good.

Deciding right now who here might understand my traditional gift of the "Reggie Mollott's Christmas Carol" I wrote some years back...