In case there's any doubt that most of us lead meaningless lives of selfish pursuit, here are some things to note. Even for those who think that their yearly contributions to Shakespeare Festivals, walks for various diseases, or volunteering for that group that tries to promote equal opportunity for women who make pottery really make a difference... I can point to my parents. The following is copied from some Kansas government publication detailing why my parents were honored at a dinner about a week ago, presented with a nice trophy-ish thing, and... well... I can't find this article online so I'm going to copy it here:
"Earl & Arlene Winsor have been resource parents since 1996, providing foster care for approximately 60 children, including long term placement of children with extremely hard-to-manage behaviors. All of the children in the Winsor home call Earl & Arlene "grandpa" and "grandma," and they are always ready to go out of their way to support the children after they've moved from the Winsor home. They've provided respite without reimbursement, given advice and encouragement to the children's new resource or adoptive parents, and have taken care of the three pre-school-aged children of a teenager who had been in their care when the teenager was grown and in a difficult relationship. The Winsor's were presented with an "Open Arms Award" at the 2005 Resource Parent Appreciation Dinner for "being ready and waiting when children who have left their home need a place to come back to." One boy with very challenging behaviors left their home-and, although the Winsor's had a lot going on the last time he needed a home, Arlene told their worker that Earl responded without hesitation, saying that they needed to "bring him back home" and help him through this.
At an age when most people are only grand-parenting, the Winsor's are continuing to do foster care, and they have adopted a sibling group of four. Having the experience that she does gives Arlene the insight into the needs behind the behaviors demonstrated by the children in her care and helps her not to overreact. Her matter-of-fact manner has been a positive influence on elementary-aged children in her home who have control issues or episodic explosive behaviors. The Winsors have a practical way of demonstrating the love that they have for children, and it's impossible to determine the widespread effect of the work they have done."
Yup. That's what my parents do, and that's why most of us suck compared to them. They give of themselves, their lives, their home, their limited resources, their everything so kids that no one else has place or patience for can feel security, stability, and love. Let me be sure to say that this has nothing to do with me and I am not basking in their reflected glory... In fact, more times than not I have found the effects of what they do to be troublesome and annoying when I go home to visit. This makes me feel like a selfish bastard, which annoys me further. Sometimes I go home, especially after a long time away, and I want my parents to myself. I want time with my mom and dad. I'm jealous of others whose families come to visit them to "see the show;" I want my parents to be able to travel and see me in shows, too. (I did MUSIC MAN in Wichita in 2004 almost exclusively so that I'd be near enough that they could see me in something.) I want them to be like other parents whose homes are immaculate, under control, and aren't sometimes filled with the effects of some various stray animals (or group of animals) that a child has "secretly" decided to adopt, or just let in. I want to sit and have a drink and discuss currents events around the table late at night with them. I want, I want, I want. That's all selfish, and when I take a step back, I realize how lucky I am to have come from these two people. They are exhausted, they sometimes...often... neglect themselves, but they keep at it because it is what my mother feels they are called to do. Eventually, probably soon, they'll no longer take in any new children or placements. They give so much, I just hope they have enough at the end to care for themselves as much as they do for others. If you were to look at it proportionally, my parents do more with what little they have than you will ever see anyone give, anywhere.
And Mom & Dad, if you read this, one day soon I'm bringing you out... somewhere to vacation and see me in... something.
I should be learning music right now, but learning music is boring. I fear I may have adult onset ADD. Well, I might think that, if I actually believed in that disorder.
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