some have gone and some remain

So in two days it will be my birthday. Sadly, there's not a lot of shopping time left for you, but my Amazon wishlist is linked there to the right -------->

I'll be 34. That's phenomenal, because I don't FEEL that way at all. I keep hearing people say things in the media lately like "30 is the new 20..." but God knows I do NOT want to be 20 again, or 24 for that matter. There is truth to that trite saying, though, because it's not what it used to be. It's funny, talking about it with most of my friends, all being of similar age - none of us LOOK like we remember people looking in their mid-thirties, when we were growing up. They looked... well, not youthful at all. I didn't quite realize that it might be the company you keep until I went to my class reunion in June of 2007. There were definitely some people there who looked... less youthful, to put it kindly.

On or around any big holiday or important date I tend to at some point backtrack in my mind to remember all the events previous. I assume it's fairly typical on a birthday to do a bit of a self-inventory. I thought I'd indulge myself and do that here because... well, because it's my blog.

2008 - Will be going to lunch then seeing the X-files movie with Phil Speary, then in the evening I'll probably head down to Final Fridays here in Wichita. I don't know. Nothing very specific planned for this one.

2007 - Benbrook, Texas, got surprised with tickets to a play at StageWest in Fort Worth.

2006 - St. Petersburg, Russia - some friends and I conned our way into getting the Presidential Suite at the Petro Palace hotel overlooking St. Issac's Square and we all went out to The Metro. About seven people wound up using the hotel room to crash after that night. Someone slept in the tub, someone on the couch, someone on the balcony, floor, etc.

2005 - St. Petersburg, Russia - we hired the Italian restaurant La Strada to have an adult version of their "kid's birthday" package thrown.

2004 - Naples, FL - BEST BIRTHDAY EVER. Was abducted and taken to a park where the whole company of the theatre I was working at had set up this big "Logan's Run" themed birthday party... because I was turning 30. It was amazing. Then dinner at Buca di Beppo's.

2003 - New Hope, PA - I was on hiatus between two runs of THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL and not many people were around, I think I went to see TERMINATOR 3 with Brian Kelly?

2002 - Richmond, VA - a nice birthday party with friends

2001 - Richmond VA. 2ND BEST BIRTHDAY EVER. I was doing "The Tempest" and was asked to pick some stuff up on the way home. When I got home, there was a huge... I kid you not, a Christopher Walken themed birthday party. The cake was done up in this black and white photo of him, and it turned everyone's mouths black. To begin with.

2000 - Pismo Beach, CA - The whole company at TGAM and I went to the Avila Beach hot springs and hired their biggest tub. Then, if I remember right, though this could've been an different night, I was taken to see Weird Al Yankovic in concert by several of the guys.

1999 - Bryant, IN - did shows, had a party backstage. They had a Star Wars cake made for me - it was the year Episode I came out and... blech...

1998 - SAUGATUCK, MI - Out to dinner with the cast at the Red Barn.

1997 - Sauguatuck, MI - Was taken out for a really nice evening by some people from the South Pacific cast.

1996 - Hazelhurst, WI - ick... was at a horrible run down old summer theatre, the producer traditionally bought a cake whenever anyone had a birthday. I shared the same birthday with the girl playing opposite me in Brigadoon, so we also shared a cake. What a horrid summer.

1995 - Abilene, KS - doing my first "real" job in the theatre working for Great Plains Theatre Festival. There was a cast handover I think so i wound up spending my 21st birthday at Applebee's with the stage manager, the later trying to find any bar or liquor store that was open. No lock. Stole a bottle of wine from the fridge at the theatre and we sat outside and drank it.

1994 - Wichita, KS ...I think I went to Chili's and saw THE MASK.

1993 - Manhattan, KS - Went to a park and had a picnic

1992 - Winfield, KS - had just graduated high school, was working at my first "away from home" theatre job making so little money you wouldn't believe it. Got taken out to McDonald's by a couple of other really poor actors.

1991 - Burns to Wichita KS - Piled several people into my giant stationwagon of a first car and drove in to Wichita. Saw Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. Got chased out of a Pizza Hut because my friend Tony wouldn't stop annoying the waitresses.

1990 - A few friends and I rented movies then slept outside.

1989 - My brother Jack piled several of my friends and I into his work van and took us to the Northrock theatre to see BATMAN.

That's as far as I go... except I do remember having a birthday party at my grandmother's in Wichita and being given a bunch of Spider-man stuff, including (I can see it very clearly) a Mego Spider-Man doll. Oh, to have that doll now...

Thinking about all those great times going all the way back to when I was a pup, I'm kind of overcome with gratitude. I have been so undeservedly lucky in my life, and I feel it's only recently I've actively worked to be the kind of person who is honestly worthy of all the good things and good people who've been in my life. For all the extensive amounts of crap I've been through in the last few years, well, somehow I am still just amazed at how lucky I am to have been blessed with so many great times with so many great people. To all my friends and family, old and new, you have my thanks and my love.

I am SO drunk right now.

Kidding.

I just remembered that a friend of mine has a quote on facebook that says "gratitude will change your life" and I think I just realized what that means.

I should accompany this post with some embarrassing very early photo of myself, but I have few to no photos pre-2005 thanks to the hard drive crash of that year.