Nature's Perfect Weapon

Insert punchline or caption here. Suggestions include

"Why was Jesus such a hit with the ladies..."

"I've got a headache this big..."
and ...something about the Nestea plunge.
In fact, there's a Photoshop contest. Photoshop me and/or Jesus doing the Nestea plunge and I'll post the best responses I get.

Dateline: Western Africa, or rather just off the coast on St. Helena. Napoleon was exiled here, died here, and I can only guess did that famous dance scene in the movie at a high school here. Africa is home to some of nature's greatest mysteries... like, if you can find it, the predator shown above. Capable of camouflaging itself into almost any environment through the cunning use of t-shirts, this animal lays patiently in wait until an unwary double espresso appears at the coffee shop below. Then, well, it's natural selection.

Below you see me wearily taking a breather as I scale the 699 steps up "Jacob's Ladder" in Jamestown, on St. Helena. Turns out there is NOTHING TO SEE at the top beyond a sort of decent view of... a lot of unimpressive scenery. You can buy a certificate at the bottom of the stairs without ever climbing that says you made the ascent.

And that is exactly what I did, as your can see from the photo below. I'm all about hiking and climbing to get to interesting things, but... 700 steps to nothing? I can appreciate the thought process behind the building of the stairway.
"We hate tourists. What can we do to really f@#% with them?"
"Tankless scuba diving?"
"Parachute free 'extreme' skydiving?"
"Mandatory non-native depantsing and atomic wedgies?"
"Hey! See that big hill thing there? Why don't we build a big stairway to the top?"
"You mean that one?"
"Yeah."
"There's nothing up there."
"Exactly."