What Did Ron Burgundy Say When He Jumped Into The Bear Pit?

Latitude 4.40'26"N
Longitude 50.30'30"W

Yesterday sitting having crew mess coffee with my friends Hillary, Lindsey, and... someone else... I honestly can't remember who the third person was, so apparently not as good a friend... I mentioned a recent surreal experience in which it again occurred to me...

Where Am I, And What Am I Doing With My Life?

On a ship, you're bound to have those moments now and again, as you find yourself staring at some of the most unbelievable moments in human behavior... or even participating in them. We decided that one or two of these a day aren't uncommon for an awakened individual. In fact, if you don't have these moments here, once in a while, you might be part of the problem. Three or more of these in a day, I think you start to wonder about your sanity. Five? It's either a really weird day or... you're in trouble. Yesterday, probably thanks to this 10am discussion, I had a total of five. This was also helped by the fact that it was a sea day.

(UPDATE: Speaking of sea days, we aboard the Voyager are currently enjoying (enduring) our fourth sea day of this cruise. I just learned that our port tomorrow (Belem) has apparently been cancelled, which means we'll have another two to look forward to before being in port in Fortaleeza for five hours after that. Then, rumour has it, another sea day. Sea days are enough to make me go mad, mad mad. That Is All.)

Things that bring this feeling on can't really be described, but I know you've had these moments. Moments where you catch yourself in the middle of something and you realize the patent absurdity of an aspect your present reality. Not in joking moments of non sequitur conversation, but things that seem to be tangible. They aren't necessarily bad moments, they are more brought on by a momentary detachment and third-person viewing of your situation. Things that bring this on include:

-Wearily wandering by yourself into a party in a remote section of the ship, finding ten or so Filipino guys from the deck crew singing karaoke, sometimes in Tagalog, under the forward mooring deck. They are incredibly friendly, they know your name, they give you some (really nice) Scotch, and insist that you sing "Uptown Girl" and "Hotel California." This does not happen at home. Even, I'll guess, if you live in the Philippines.

-Waking from a night's sleep to the barnyard-like sounds of seven different languages in the hallway, punctuated by laughter at things which you know enough of the offending languages to be sure aren't funny.

-Realizing five minutes into a conversation with a group of people that you're all talking with a great deal of gravitas about serious issues involving things like balloons and party decor. More fun is to be had watching people take it all very seriously.

-Most common on ships, being witness (or party) to the basest behaviors you can imagine on a nightly basis.

The last one is primarily a result of the too-ready availability of very cheap alcohol in the crew bar. This is the ship's contribution to crew morale. Other morale-boosting efforts on behalf of the crew include our sedate non-smoking lounge, our relaxing coffee and juice bar, and weekly sponsored flying yacht trips to Candyland, none of which actually exist.

Ack... just informed that our cabaret for next week has been moved to tomorrow. We have a new band on board... thankfully one that I know and trust, but still new... and so I'd best go speak with them about the music.